Being a Friend
by Blue Roses
Summary: Neville discovers something about Harry. Mild slash. Harry/Draco


Being a Friend

Author: Blue Roses

A/N: This mentions a relationship between two men, so if you don't like that steer clear. It's from Neville's POV. I was going to do it from Ron's, but I seem to understand Neville better. 

Email: blue_roses42@hotmail.com (I love getting email, so feel free to send me comments if you don't want to review publicly)

Notes and thanks to reviewers at the end.

***

I have always wanted to be a good friend to Harry Potter. Always. Well, as long as I've known him anyway. Harry, Hermoine and Ron are usually together, best friends. I'm just an outsider to what they have, I'm the clumsy and rather stupid one, the comic relief, I suppose. I've got a few other friends, but he and his friends are the ones I want to spend my time with. If I had the choice, I'd always be talking to them. If I didn't think they'd get bored with me.

Anyway, I say that so you'll get some perspective on why I'm doing this for him. It's for my friend. It doesn't matter, the rest of it. What matters is that we're friends, and that he's happy. I'm not entirely happy with who he's with, but that's his choice, not mine. 

I suppose I'd better give you some background. Well, Harry had been acting strange for weeks. Hermoine and Ron didn't even know what was wrong, and no one could get him to say anything about what was going on. He just clamed up whenever we approached his feelings. He was always staring into space.

It was Hermoine that first thought that he might be in love. We were sitting in the Griffindor common room, they were sitting together, and I was sitting nearby and just happened to catch what they were saying.

"Perhaps he's in love? That might explain his behaviour."

"Harry? In love? I don't think so. Anyway, he likes Cho Chang, we've always known that, and he hasn't talked about her in weeks." That was Ron, of course, one of the most oblivious people I've ever met when it comes to romantic relationships. Hermoine has wanted him to ask her out for years, and he's never noticed, although he's always fancied her. Love is blind they say, and I think they might be right in this case.

"He might be in love with someone else, though." said Hermoine, the voice of reason.

"I don't think so. He's probably just worried about school, or thinking about his parents or something. I think we should just let him get over it."

They left it there, but it kept coming back to my thoughts. I knew I was just Neville, the clumsy one, and I was likely to make a mess of it, but I thought I should have a talk to him. Harry is usually willing to talk to people, and he's always polite, even if he doesn't really want to. I thought that maybe I could get him to tell me what was wrong.

It was after potions that I thought I'd give it a go. The lesson had been awful as usual, but I thought that things could get no worse that afternoon, so I might as well try it. I saw Harry heading to one of the less populated parts of the school, near our divination classroom, and I thought I could talk to him with no one else around.

To my slight surprise, he was much less polite than usual. He seemed slightly shifty, as if he was trying to get rid of me. I'm used to being got rid of, so I know the signs. I thought it was just that he didn't want to talk, but then Draco Malfoy came around the corner. 

Oddly enough, he was smiling. I don't think I've ever seen him smile before. I've been on the receiving end of his smirks, yes, but not his smiles. It actually made him look quite pleasant.

"Harry," he began, smiling as if he was very glad to see him. I was again surprised, because I'd never heard him call Harry anything other than 'Potter', but then he saw me, and his expression turned to one of dislike. 

"Potter and Neville-the-nothing." He sneered. "What are you doing here anyway?" 

I notice he directed this to me, and not to Harry. I started "We were just..." Then realised I had no idea why Harry was coming here, and I was just following him.

Harry himself decided to step in at this point. His tone was more resigned than annoyed. "We were just going." he said wearily, and he looked Malfoy in the eye with something that I couldn't understand. I was used to the hate between them, and this looked more like understanding.

Harry turned away and went back the way we had come. I didn't know what to do, so I followed him. I looked back at Malfoy, and he was just standing there, looking disappointed. When he saw me looking, he changed the look to one of hate, as if I had just dared to insult him or something.

When we had reached the Griffindor tower, Harry disappeared to his room, and I stayed in the common room, not knowing what to do. He hadn't spoken all the way back, not even to reply to my queries if he was alright. 

I couldn't help thinking of the looks I had seen between him and Malfoy. Suddenly, Hermoine and Ron's conversation came back to me. "Perhaps he's in love?" 

I made the connection almost immediately, but it seemed too ludicrous to believe. Harry and Malfoy? They were enemies surely? The old adage about opposites attracting, or love being the mirror of hate really didn't seem to apply. I just couldn't believe it. 

I couldn't stop thinking about the possibility, though. It was the only thing that I could think of that made sense. I'd been known to be wrong before, of course, but that didn't stop me thinking there might be something in this.

I had to ask Harry, that was the only way I'd know for sure, but I couldn't bring myself to do it right away. I resolved to sleep on it, and do it in the morning. No one could accuse me of not thinking before I acted. Usually I spent to long thinking, and had to rush the acting, but I thought one night wouldn't matter.

I spent the whole of supper thinking about it, causing Hermoine to comment that the not talking seemed to be spreading to me too. I smiled distractedly, but wouldn't tell her what I was thinking of either. If I had got it wrong, or even if I had got it right, I didn't think Harry would be too happy about me telling everyone of my suspicions.

That night I couldn't sleep. I can never get to sleep when I have an idea like that in my head. It went around and around. Harry and Malfoy? Harry and Draco? It wasn't the fact that they were both guys that bothered me, my grandmother would never tolerate homophobia in any of her relations, to her it would be as bad or worse than being a death eater, and I'd grown up thinking same sex relationships were as normal as opposite sex ones. My cousin Walter was living with another guy, and my aunt had had a girlfriend or two in her time.

They seemed so different, though. What did they talk about? Did they talk at all? Was this just the product of my overactive imagination? 

At about midnight, I decided that I'd never get to sleep, and I might do something useful, as I was awake. Snape had set a test that week, so I decided it would be a good thing to revise. I crept down to the common room, where I knew the fire would still be burning, and started to read my notes by its light.

I was rather surprised when I heard the other set of footsteps approaching the common room. I knew it could only be another boy, since they were coming from the boy's dormitories, so I got up to see who it was.

Harry started when he saw me, and murmured something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "Not again"

"What are you doing down here, Neville?" He asked "You know we're meant to be in bed after lights out."

I don't know if it was the lateness of the hour, or the lack of sleep that prompted me to reply "I could ask you the same thing"

"I was just going to..." he trailed off.

"To see Draco Malfoy." I finished. I don't know who looked more surprised, he or I, but he recovered his voice first.

"How did you know? You can't have seen, apart from this afternoon. You mustn't tell anyone Neville, no one, OK?"

As he said these last words he came up to me, and grabbed hold of the T-shirt I was wearing. I stuttered "No, I won't" in reply, and he let me go, and sank into one of the chairs next to the fire. 

"I suppose you want to know why." He said quietly. "I know he's wrong for me. I know everyone would disapprove, but I don't care." He looked up, and I could see the reflection of the fire in his eyes, which seemed to underline his feelings. "I love him, and I don't care who he is. I wish he could be someone else, but he isn't and I know that. I've dealt with it. I still love him, whoever he is."

I tried to marshal my thoughts, so they would come out of my mouth in the right order. "I won't tell, Harry. I promise." I smiled "You're still my friend, it doesn't matter who you're in love with." I paused and thought. "As long as he makes you happy."

He smiled, the first time he had that night. "Yes, he does. More than anyone. He's wonderful, Neville, really. The tough stuff is just an act, really. He's had a bit of a bad life, I think. He's so sweet." Suddenly he seemed to remember where he was. "What's the time? I'm going to be late! I was going to see him! Oh my god, I've got to hurry!"

He stopped as he was going out of the door. "You won't tell, will you Neville?"

I smiled at him. He looked so worried, but I could remember him smiling the minute before. "Of course not"

The beam returned to his face. "Thanks Neville, you're a great friend." He crept out of the door.

I was smiling too. Harry Potter had called me his friend. I pushed the worry about his relationship with Draco out of my mind. People could change, after all. He might not be as bad as his family. 

I crept back to my bed, potions forgotten, and thought about the events of the day and night, my mind reeling even more than it had been before. This was a surprise, but I could keep a secret, and I would do so I could keep a friend.

END

***

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed my stuff so far. I'm not too good at sequels, but I've got a few continuations that I've started so I'll see how they go. Holidays are ending soon, so it might be a while before I do more, but I don't think I'll stop altogether!

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement, and thanks for the constructive criticism too, I'm trying to improve. The last fic cut a bit close, because I was feeling the same way that Remus was at the time. Fanfiction is my form of therapy :-)


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